Sunday, November 30, 2008

Excellent Conversation

|An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
|science has with God, The Almighty.
|
|He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
|
|Prof: So you believe in God?
|
|Student: Absolutely, sir.
|
|Prof: Is God good?
|
|Student: Sure.
|
|Prof: Is God all-powerful?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
|him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God
|didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
|
|(Student is silent.)
|
|Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God
|good?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: Is Satan good?
|
|Student: No.
|
|Prof: Where does Satan come from?
|
|Student: From...God...
|
|Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
|Correct?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: So who created evil?
|
|(Student does not answer.)
|
|Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
|terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
|
|Student: Yes, sir.
|
|Prof: So, who created them?
|
|(Student has no answer.)
|
|Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
|the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever
|
|seen God?
|
|Student: No, sir.
|
|Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
|
|Student: No, sir.
|
|Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your
|
|God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
|
|Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
|
|Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science
|says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
|
|Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
|
|Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
|
|Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
|
|Prof: Yes.
|
|Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
|
|Prof: Yes.
|
|Student: No sir. There isn't.
|
|(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
|
|Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even
|
|more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
|But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below
|zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is
|no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the
|absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not
|the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
|
|(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
|
|Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
|darkness?
|
|
|Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
|
|Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
|something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
|light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's
|called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you
|would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
|
|Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
|
|Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
|
|Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
|
|Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue
|there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You
|are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
|measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity
|and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either
|one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
|that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not
|the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
|
|Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved
|from a monkey?
|
|Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of
|course, I do.
|
|Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
|
|(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where
|the argument is going.)
|
|Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
|work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,
|are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
|preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
|
|Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's
|brain?
|
|(The class breaks out into laughter.)
|
|Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain,
|felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So,
|according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
|protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
|
|With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
|
|(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
|unfathomable.)
|
|Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
|
|Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is
|all that keeps things moving & alive.

Quotes by Chanakya

1) "Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!"

2)"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."

3)"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."

4)"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."

5)"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."

6)" Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."

7)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."

8)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."

9)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

10)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."

11)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."

12) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."

13) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."

14) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."

15) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."

16) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."

 

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Why Some People Have All the Luck

*Why Some People Have All the Luck : By Professor Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire*

*Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve?**

A psychologist says he has discovered the answer..

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune. I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50.'

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected..As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties' intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.
Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for.
My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.
Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier. *

*The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.**

Finally, I had found the elusive 'luck factor'. *

*Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:
  1. Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right
  2. Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine
  3. Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
  4. Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.
Have a Lucky day and work for it. *

Thursday, November 27, 2008

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE .........

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset

Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account


Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves

Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend


Children are our Bonus Issues

Education is Brands / Patents



Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account

The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.


Some very Good and Very bad things ...
The most destructive habit....... ......... ......Worry

The greatest Joy......... ......... ......... ....Giving
The greatest loss.......Loss of self-respect


The most satisfying work........ .......Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....... .....Selfishness

The most endangered species..... ....Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.... .......... ...Our youth


The greatest 'shot in the arm'........ .Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.... ......... ...Fear
The most effective sleeping pill....... Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease..... .......Excuses

The most powerful force in life........ .......... .Love
The most dangerous act...... ..A gossip
The world's most incredible computer.... ....The brain

The worst thing to be without..... ......... ..... Hope

The deadliest weapon...... ......... ........The tongue

The two most power-filled words....... ......... 'I Can'
The greatest asset....... .......... ......... .....Faith
The most worthless emotion.... .......... ....Self- pity


The most beautiful attire...... .......... ........SMILE!
The most prized possession.. ..............Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ...Prayer
The most contagious spirit...... ......... ......Enthusiasm


Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,

Hope ends; when you stop Believing,

Love ends; when you stop Caring,

And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing...!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

A. R. Rahman on Unstoppable Indians

Available at: http://profit.ndtv.com/2008/08/05205905/A-R-Rahman.html

Below are some nice statements by "Mozart of Madras":
  • People only need you till you are what you are. Then I realised that I had to keep some time for myself to rejuvenate, to fill me up with other things like spirituality and stuff.
  • So my mind got tuned. Ok in the night you have to start creating. In the day you work for other people.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

How to Make Work Feel Effortless

This is from http://karmicmantra.com/mind-power/how-to-make-work-feel-effortless/

Sometimes work can be a drag. You get caught up in trying to be more productive and suddenly your life turns into a series of to-do lists. You gauge your measure of success by how much you accomplish. You even determine how happy you allow yourself to be by how much you’ve gotten done in the day.

We spend a lot of time trying to find ways to be more productive. To do things faster, better, cheaper and spend our time more effectively. But instead of just doing more in less time, maybe we should focus on actually enjoying the work we’re doing instead.

Here are 8 ways to make work seem like less of a chore and more like a gift:

  1. Follow your natural rhythms. A lot of the time I resent working is because I’m trying to force myself to do something I don’t feel like doing. Naturally there will always be some things you’re not crazy about doing (like cleaning the toilet). But how often do you force yourself to work more, when you really want to relax? When you force yourself to work when you’ve promised yourself a break, you’ll likely just end up distracting yourself with other things and put off working. Then you get stressed and end up resenting work. Instead, follow your natural rhythms. When you feel like working, work. When you don’t, don’t. Don’t over complicate things.
  2. Do, don’t think. I’m going to stay true to this point and not think about writing something elaborate. Just do, stop thinking about it. Fail, make corrections later.
  3. Don’t put sugar in your tank. You wouldn’t put sugar in your gas tank right? It doesn’t make much sense to fill your body up with unhealthy fuel either. If you don’t have the energy to get the work you need to done, work will feel forced.
  4. Remove hidden roadblocks. What’s making you avoid working? What’s making your work seem like drudgery rather than joyful? It might have something to do with your beliefs about yourself. Maybe you believe you’re not good enough, smart enough or don’t have enough experience. Question your beliefs about what you can and can’t do.
  5. Only do your best. Work can easily become a chore when you’re trying to constantly be perfect. The truth is, some of your ideas might not be so great. Others will be mind blowing. If you can accept that and just do your best, you stop judging yourself. Guess what it feels like when you’re no longer picking over everything you do with a fine toothed comb? It feels extremely liberating. It feels like you can actually enjoy your experience, rather than worrying about how everything is going to turn out. That is working effortlessly.
  6. Act from your gut. When you think you have a great idea, believe it. Follow it. Chase it until you’re out of breath and can barely hold yourself up. Because if you don’t trust yourself, you’ll regret it later. The best way to live is to follow your intuition and trust life. If nothing else, trust yourself. Because if you can’t trust yourself, how can you trust your mistrust? That’s not very smart is it?
  7. Focus on what matters. Our minds are constantly pulling us in different directions. We have to wash the cat, buy more apple cinnamon oatmeal, finish writing that resignation letter to your no-longer-boss at your dead-end job, and all sorts of other things. We have a tendency to follow what’s urgent instead of what’s important. In order to get the important things done, we have to be ruthless at removing distractions. If it takes bringing a laptop (or notepad) to a cafe to write your grandiose novel, then do that. Avoid the vacuum of minutiae urgency. Remove all distractions so you can focus on the important things. I would much rather spend 4 hours working on an important project, then 4 hours spinning my wheels and scratching my head trying to figure out what I did today.
  8. Refuse to do what you don’t want to do. I often avoid working because I’m trying to do things I think I “should do.” I think I should read more because it will make me smarter. I think I should buy new clothes because it will make me cooler. I think I should work on this project because it will be good for my resume. Forget what you think you should do (except maybe… paying your rent). Do what you want to do. Other people will understand. In fact, they’ll probably envy you.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Article on Job Change - By Dr. Gopalakrishnan

I received this article in one of emails, but it's really thought provoking.

Dr. Gopalakrishnan succeeds Mr. Ratan Tata as Chairman of Tata Sons Ltd., the holding company for many of the Tata blue chips like Tata Steel, TataMotors, Tata Power, Tata Chemicals, Voltas etc. Possibly he is the first Non - Tata person to head the Tata Empire. Read this article by Dr. G - it is really interesting.

____________ _________ _________
The grass isn't always greener on the other side!! Move from one job to another, but only for the right reasons. It's yet another day at office. As I logged on to the marketing and advertising sites for the latest updates, as usual, I found the headlines dominated by "who's" moving from one company to another after a short stint, and I wondered, why are so many people leaving one job for another? Is it past now to work with just one company for a sufficiently long period? Whenever I ask this question to people who leave a company, the answers I get are: "Oh, I am getting a 200% hike in salary"; "Well I am jumping three levels in my designation"; "Well they are going to send me abroad in six months".

Then, I look around at all the people who are considered successful today and who have reached the top - be it a media agency, an advertising agency or a company. I find that most of these people are the ones who stuck to the company, ground their heels and worked their way to the top. And, as I look around for people who change their jobs constantly, I find they have stagnated at some level, in obscurity. In this absolute ruthless, dynamic and competitive environment, there are still no - short cuts to success or to making money. The only thing that continues to pay, as earlier is loyalty and hard work. Yes, it pays! Sometimes, immediately, sometimes after a lot of time. But, it does pay. Does this mean that one should stick to an organization and wait for the golden moment? Of course not. After, a long stint, there always comes a time for moving in most organizations, but it is important to move for the right reasons, rather than the superficial ones, like money, designation or oversees trip. Remember, no company recruits for charity. More often than not, when you are offered an unseemly hike in salary or designation that is disproportionate to what the company offers it current employees, there is always an unseemly bait attached. The result? You will, in the long term have reached the same level or may be lower levels than what you would have in your current company.

A lot of people leave their organizations because they are "unhappy". What is this so called unhappiness? I have been working for donkey years and there has never been a day when I am not unhappy about something in my work environment - boss, rude colleagues, fussy clients etc. Unhappiness in a work place, to a large extent, is transient. If you look hard enough, there is always something to be unhappy about. But, more importantly, do I come to work to be "happy" in the truest sense? If I think hard, the answer is "No". Happiness is something you find with family, friends, may be a close circle of colleagues who have become friends.

What you come to work for is to earn, build a reputation, satisfy your ambitions, be appreciated for your work ethics, face challenges and get the job done. So, the next time you are tempered to move on, as yourself why are you moving and what are you moving into? Some questions are:

* Am I ready and capable of handling the new responsibility? If yes, what could be the possible reasons my current company has not offered me the same responsibility?

* Who are the people who currently handle this responsibility in the current and new company? Am I good as the best among them?

* As the new job offer has a different profile, why have I not given the current company the option to offer me this profile?

* Why is the new company offering the new job? Do they want me for my skills, or is that ulterior motive? An honest answer to these will eventually decide where you go in your career to the top of the pile in the long term (at the cost of short - term blips) or to become another average employee who gets lost with the time in wilderness?

"DESERVE BEFORE YOU DESIRE"

- Dr. Gopalakrishnan, Chairman TATA Sons.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Goal-Free Living

Completely Different Perspective :)


---------------------------------------------------

*** Article: Goal-Free Living© – By Stephen Shapiro ***

----------------------------------------------------

Success and happiness are unarguably our Holy Grails, but the standards

taught to find them are all wrong. We have been brainwashed into believing

that the only way to achieve this elusive combination of success and

happiness is through setting goals. This is simply not true. In fact,

goal-setting is often the shortest route to discontentment. Fifty eight

percent of those I surveyed say that they are consciously sacrificing

today's happiness in the belief that achieving their goals will bring

fulfillment. Sadly, 41 percent say that each goal achieved brings little,

if any, satisfaction, despite all the hard work. So, what do they do? They

set another goal. This creates a perpetual cycle of sacrifice and

disillusionment. What is the solution?

After interviewing hundreds of people and surveying thousands I discovered

that the most passionate, creative, and sometimes wealthiest people live

free from the burden of traditional goals. Instead, they have mastered the

rare skill of enjoying "now" rather than delaying gratification until the

future.

Goals are not inherently bad, but many individuals have an unhealthy

relationship with their goals, distorting this potentially helpful tool

into a surefire recipe for failure. Why?

* Quite often, the goals we chase are not our own. Fifty three percent of

those I surveyed feel that they are living their lives in a way that

Satisfies others more than themselves. Whose life are you living?

* Goals can cause you to lose your peripheral vision. When you focus on

your goals, you are cutting off potentially greater opportunities from

emerging.

* Goals set you up for failure, say 74 percent of those surveyed,

conceding to disappointment and dissatisfaction when they are unsuccessful

in achieving their goals. In fact, 92 percent fail to achieve their New

Year's resolutions. That is a lot of discontentment.

Goal-Free Living is liberating. It opens new possibilities typically

hidden from sight.

We often associate goals with our career. While that is a big aspect of

our lives, Goal-Free Living applies to all areas of life, from dating to

business.

* Dating. When you are on a date, do not worry about the next date.

Instead, just enjoy the other person's company...for that moment. You will

come across as being more genuine and less desperate, and ironically, this

increases your chances of getting that second date.

* Vacationing. When on a vacation, instead of planning every minute of

every day, try venturing out into an area not in your guidebook. You may

discover some hidden gems. You will feel less hurried and more relaxed.

Isn't that what a vacation is all about?

* Meetings. When you attend a business conference, stop focusing on what

you will get out of it and how you will use it. Rather, concentrate on

just being there and soaking in as much as possible. Incredïble

opportunities show up when you are unburdened and blinded by myopic goals.

When you are doing something, ask yourself "Why am I doing this?" If you

have a reason--other than just to be there--then you may have a goal.

While it is quite acceptable to have a particular interest in an outcome,

do not let that specific focus become so dominant that it blinds you to

other opportunities.

How does one embark on a more goal-free life? During my travels around the

world and after hundreds of interviews I discovered eight secrets for

living goal-free.

1. Use a compass, not a map--have a sense of direction (not a specific

destination), and then "meander with purpose."

2. Trust that you are never lost--every seemingly wrong turn is an

opportunïty to learn and experience new things.

3. Remember that opportunïty knocks often but sometimes softly--while

blindly pursuing our goals, we often miss unexpected and wonderful

possibilities.

4. Want what you have--measure your life by your own yardstick and

appreciate who you are, what you do, and what you have...now.

5. Seek out adventure--treat your life like a one-time-only journey, and

revel in new and different experiences.

6. Become a people magnet--constantly attract, build, and nurture

relationships with new people so that you always have the support and

camaraderie of others.

7. Embrace your limits--transform your inadequacies and boundaries into

unique qualities that you can use to your advantage.

8. Remain detached--focus on the present, act with a commitment to the

future, and avoid worrying about how things will turn out.

For each of these secrets, there are a number of tips for implementing the

concept. Here are a few you can try today.

* Set "themes," not "resolutions"--rather than set a resolution (i.e., a

goal), choose one word to describe your next year. Choose something that

is bold and inspires you. Instead of losing 10 pounds, you could choose

"health." "Relationships"--in the broadest sense--may work better for you

than "finding a boyfriend." Any word will do: "grace," "adventure,"

"serenity," "play."

* Use "could do" lists rather than "to do" lists--"to do" lists tend to be

draining as they are the things you feel you must do. "Could do" lists

contain those things that you want to do that inspire you. They keep

possibility in front of you. Keep your list of "could do" items large and

your list of "to do" items small.

* Change your filter. One creative way to "seek out adventure" is to make

believe you are another person--an artist, a musician, or a doctor. It

doesn't matter, as long as it is someone other than you. When you live

your normal day standing in the shoes of someone else, you will see things

you have never seen before.

* Appreciate the whole spectrum of life. Create contrasts to help you

appreciate where you are right now. Sleep in a tent and sleeping bag

versus always staying in a five-star hotel. Volunteer for a charity. Take

the bus to work. Eat at a greasy spoon diner. Swap jobs with someone with

a less glamorous assignment for a week. Experience the whole spectrum of

life.

The origin of the word "goal" comes from the Old English word for

"obstacles" or "a hindrance." In order to achieve a goal, you must work

hard to overcome these barriers and roadblocks. Conversely, the origin of

the word "aspiration" is the same as the Latin word for "spirit" and

"inspire," which means "to breathe into" or "panting with desire."

Barriers or inspiration. Which would you prefer?


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Friday, November 7, 2008

Power of Positive Talk by Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

 

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

 

 

Previous Posts:

o        Viswanathan Anand's Interview on Unstoppable India...

o        Lalu Yadav, the management guru!

o        Management gems from Richard Branson

o        Peter Drucker's mantras for success

o        Commencement address by Steve Jobs

o        Ratan Tata's words of inspiration

o        9 great management lessons from Dhirubhai Ambani

o        Keep the Spark - Chetan Bhagat

o        Oprah's career advice: follow your gut

 

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Viswanathan Anand's Interview on Unstoppable Indians

NDTV Profit came up with interviewing "Visawanathan Anand" on their show "Unstoppable Indians"

Click here to see transcript of this.

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